You’ve got to co-create love that sees and celebrates all of you.
“Just be yourself and the right person will love you.” 🙄
You hear it for the hundredth time, and you want to scream back: "But which self?" The anxious you or the confident you? The people-pleasing you or the boundary-setting you? The truth is, we're all walking contradictions—generous and selfish, brave and scared, wise and foolish, sometimes within the same hour.
Instead of trying to eliminate the parts of yourself that feel messy or inconvenient, I want to invite you into a different possibility: What if wholeness isn't about perfection, but about integration? This month on Reimagining Love, we're exploring how embracing all of who you are—including the parts you'd rather hide—creates the foundation for deeper, more authentic love.
As you listen, use the related reflection questions to check in with yourself, and if you’re up for it, bring them to your partner as a conversation starter. The goal isn’t to “fix” anything—it’s to create space for curiosity, understanding, and connection.
💗From the Office of Dr. Alexandra
Unpacking your big relationship dynamics and questions
Healing After Betrayal: Navigating Trust, Shame, and Moving Forward
🎧 Listen to “Mailbag Episode! Rebuilding After Infidelity”
The discovery (or disclosure) of infidelity has the power to shatter not just your trust in your partner, but your trust in yourself. "How could I have been so blind?" "Why didn't I see the signs?" If you've ever blamed yourself for someone else's betrayal, you're far from alone. In this mailbag episode, we explore the complex emotional landscape after infidelity—from the self-blame that keeps you stuck, to the hypervigilance that feels exhausting, to the courage it takes to rebuild. Whether you're the one who was betrayed, the one who strayed, or even the third person in the triangle, there's wisdom here for your healing journey.
Reflection: What does trust mean to you in relationships? What specific behaviors build trust for you, and which behaviors erode it? Take time to get clear on your own trust blueprint.
💓 In Conversation with Dr. Alexandra
Thought-provoking conversations with special guests
Embracing All Parts of Yourself: Inner Work for Deeper Love
🎧 Listen to “The Power of Parts Work: Embracing All of Ourselves”
Ever notice how you can be generous and petty in the same conversation? Or how your inner critic shows up loudest right when you're trying something new? When grappling with aspects of ourselves that we deem less good, less productive, or less loveable, it may be tempting to completely write those parts off, or to hide them away in shame. Therapist and author Britt Frank reveals why there are truly no bad parts within us, just parts that need steadier leadership. If you've ever felt like you're at war with yourself, this conversation will help you find peace through alignment rather than elimination.
Reflection: At the end of today, pause and ask yourself: "Which parts of me showed up today? What were they trying to help me with or protect me from?" Notice without judgment—just curiosity.
Carrying Cultural Complexity: Love Across Generations and Identities
🎧 Listen to “Loving Across Difference: Navigating Identity and Family Relationships Between Cultures”
For many, navigating love and family means bridging different worlds. If you're navigating the space between your heritage and your chosen life, therapist Sahaj Kohli understands this tender territory. We explore how inherited patterns around success, sacrifice, and self-worth show up in your relationships, and how healing your own cultural wounds can create ripples of healing both forward and backward in your family line. This episode offers profound insights for fostering connection across cultural divides and celebrating your successes authentically.
Reflection: What narratives about success, safety, and self-worth did you inherit from your family? Which ones serve you now, and which ones might you want to consciously choose to keep or release?
Stop Settling: How Love Can Set You Free
🎧 Listen to "Dating with Intention and Optimism: How to Get What You Want Out of Love"
Tired of dating advice that tells you to "compromise" and "be realistic"? What if you imagine, and work toward, a relationship actually makes you feel more like yourself? Dating coach, author, and podcast host, Case Kenny, challenges the idea that love requires sacrifice of your independence. Instead, he reveals why healthy love amplifies your freedom, expands your possibilities, and is genuinely fun. If you've been wondering whether you're being too picky or not picky enough, this conversation will help you trust your instincts about what is possible in love.
Reflection: Think about your current relationship (or your last one): To what degree does it make you feel more like your truest, most joyful self? To what degree do you expand or contract when you're with this person?
Remember, you get to continue to imagine and work toward relationships (with yourself, your family, friends, and intimate partner) that don’t ask you to be less of who you are, but rather that invite you to be more.
xo,
Dr. Alexandra
