A roundup of the month's thought-provoking discussions from my podcast, Reimagining Love.
Your mother-in-law voices her thoughts about every little thing you do.Your best friend feels distant now that you're partnered. You can't stop longing over someone who barely thinks about you.
Love doesn't exist in a vacuum. Sometimes the relationship causing you the most stress might not be your romantic one. It might be the one right next to it, and it has the power to impact your partnership.
This month on Reimagining Love, we're zooming out from the couple bubble to the other relationships that shape how you love– the family systems that wedge between you, the friendships that deserve to be prioritized, mentors who help you see yourself more clearly, and crushes that reveal patterns you thought you’d outgrown.
As you listen to these episodes, use the related reflection questions to check in with yourself, and if you're up for it, bring them to your partner as a conversation starter. The goal isn't to "fix" anything– it's to create space for curiosity, understanding, and connection.
💓 In Conversation with Dr. Alexandra
Thought-provoking conversations with special guests
When Longing Takes Over
🎧 Listen to "From Crushes to Crises: How Hookup Culture, ADHD, & Family History Fuel Limerence.”
You tell yourself it's just a crush, but you're checking their social media five times a day, replaying every conversation, reading too much into a liked post. Amanda McCracken explains limerence– the involuntary, all-consuming romantic obsession that's fueled by uncertainty and keeps you stuck in "if only." This conversation reveals why hookup culture creates perfect conditions for limerence, how ADHD and childhood trauma make some people more vulnerable, and why your body knows when you're chasing anticipation instead of actual love.
Reflection: When you think about past relationships or crushes: To what degree were you drawn to the person themselves, versus drawn to the anticipation, the chase, the "if only"? What would it mean to choose someone who's actually available to you? What internal shifts or stretches might you need to do in order to open yourself up to an available partner?
The Mentor Who Saw You First
🎧 Listen to "Relational Health: Loving with the Brain in Mind.”
Mentorship is a sacred offering. Being admired by someone you deeply admire just hits different. This re-aired conversation is with Dr. Mona Fishbane, one of my most treasured mentors. In this episode, you’ll hear us talk about how intergenerational patterns shape the thoughts, behaviors, and expectations we bring into our intimate relationships. If you listened to Jessica Baum's episode about healing in relationships, this is the perfect companion. It’s a reminder that romantic partnerships aren't the only relationships that transform us.
Reflection: Who has been a mentor in your life who saw something in you before you could see it in yourself? If you haven't told them what their belief in you meant, what would you want them to know?
The Mother-in-Law You Wish You Had
🎧 Listen to “On You, Your Husband, and His Mother: Understanding Mother-in-Law Dynamics for Healthier Family Connections.”
Your mother-in-law comments on the baby's socks again, and you get that familiar tightness in your chest, the sting of being judged. Dr. Tracy Dalgleish breaks down why the daughter-in-law/mother-in-law dynamic is the trickiest family triangle. We explore how generational differences in women's roles fuel the tension and why your husband’s inaction actually keeps him part of the problem. This conversation gives you the tools to get on the same page as a couple before family expectations take over.
Reflection: Think about your family system: Where are you waiting for someone else to change instead of claiming your own agency? What's one boundary you need to set– not to punish, but to protect connection?
What If Friendship Came First?
🎧 Listen to “The Other Significant Others: How to Reimagine Your Friendships.”
You cancel plans with friends when your partner's available, prioritize date night over girls' night, and structure your entire life around romantic partnership as the center. In this episode, Rhaina Cohen asks: What if we stopped doing things by default and redesigned our support networks from scratch? This conversation challenges the assumption that romantic love should always come first and explores how expecting more from friendships might actually strengthen your romantic relationship.
Reflection: If you redesigned your support network without cultural defaults about what "should" matter most, what would it look like? Who would you see more of? Who would you call first?
The relationships around your relationship shape the way you show up in love. I hope these episodes help you see the patterns more clearly and give you permission to tend to the whole relational web, not just the romantic center.
xo,
Dr. Alexandra
