A roundup of the month's thought-provoking discussions from my podcast, Reimagining Love.
Day after day, you make the same promises to yourself about change. Tonight I won’t reach for wine to take the edge off. Tomorrow is the day I will have that hard conversation about money with my partner. I am going to ask for help instead of white-knuckling my way through another impossible week.
You know the changes you need to make. You've known for a while, actually.
Knowing what needs to change and actually changing it are two different things.
This month on Reimagining Love, we're exploring what it actually takes to change– the anchoring relationships that make healing possible, the conversations that crack us open, and the small daily practices that quietly reshape our lives while we're just trying to get through the day.
As you listen to these episodes, use the related reflection questions to check in with yourself, and if you're up for it, bring them to your partner as a conversation starter. The goal isn't to "fix" anything– it's to create space for curiosity, understanding, and connection.
💓 In Conversation with Dr. Alexandra
Thought-provoking conversations with special guests
When Sobriety Becomes Self-Love
🎧 Listen to "Shifting to Sobriety: Quitting Drinking, Self-Compassion, and Evolving Together"
They started with moderation as the goal– two glasses of wine, not the whole bottle. Just control the thing instead of letting it control you. Suzanne and Russell Waryes share their journey from nailing moderation to letting go of alcohol entirely, the boundaries that protected their marriage when only one of them was ready, and why someone always has to go first. This conversation explores what it means to trust yourself again and how healing happens in relationships, not in isolation.
Reflection: What's one thing you're waiting for permission to change, and what would it mean to go first, even without knowing who will follow you?
The Money Conversations You're Not Having
🎧 Listen to "How to Talk About Money and Build Trust With Your Partner"
The divorce rate among billionaires is the same as the general population. It turns out no amount of money solves relationship conflicts around money. Attorney Heather Boneparth and financial planner Douglas Boneparth break down the two-prong test for financial infidelity, why money continues to be a source of tension for couples even after they become objectively successful, and how asking, "when did you first become aware of money?" unlocks more than any budget spreadsheet ever could.
Reflection: What lessons did you learn about money as a child? How did those lessons make you feel? If you're in a relationship that challenges the money messages you grew up with, what has that required of you? What has it given to you?
You're One Action Away From Mattering
🎧 Listen to "If It Wasn’t For You…": The Importance of Mattering For An Abundant, Purposeful Life"
You're managing everyone's needs, running on fumes and telling yourself you'll rest when things calm down. Author Jennifer Wallace reveals why mattering is the root of our anxiety, burnout, and loneliness. This conversation breaks down the steps towards finally feeling valued, why asking for help is actually an act of generosity, and how letting someone merge into traffic might be the smallest act of self-care you do today.
Reflection: Start a two-part mattering journal: (1) Where did I add value today, even in a small way? (2) How did someone add value to my life, even in a small way? (This practice comes to us from Jennifer Wallace’s incredible new book, Mattering).
Why You Can't Heal Alone
🎧 Listen to “Healing Attachment Wounds in Relationships: The Felt Sense of Safety and Presence”
Despite reading countless self-help books and listening to all the podcasts, do the same relationship patterns keep showing up? Therapist Jessica Baum explains why healing attachment wounds requires more than understanding them intellectually: you need anchoring relationships. This conversation reveals what safety actually feels like in your body, why we aren't just one attachment style, and how your workaholism might be protecting you from something you're not ready to feel yet.
Reflection: When you feel activated– anxious, shut down, or angry–pause and ask: Where is this living in my body right now? Have I felt this exact sensation before? Don't try to fix it, just notice.
Real change happens when you stop trying to think your way through and start letting others hold space for what you're actually feeling. I hope these episodes remind you that you don't have to make changes alone.
xo,
Dr. Alexandra
